I have not formally studied techniques for effective communication, but I am a good communicator. In some ways, this makes me more qualified to speak on it than some of the people teaching communication clesses. You see, with all the buzz made about communicating effectively nowadays, many people forget the fundamentals. There are no techniques for effective communication that are universally applicable. The key is to know the situation you’re in, know what you want, and know how to get it.
Effective communication in the workplace, for example, follows its own set of rules. The key for effective workplace communication is to understand the nature of the workplace situation. Usually, there is an unspoken power dynamic between the two people. If you are the boss, you need to use proper leadership techniques. If you are the worker, you need to maintain your dignity while showing the boss that he or she is in charge. At the same time, you need to be able to strongly voice whatever objections you have without offending. This is where communication gets complicated.
Most experts on techniques for effective communication see it as a matter of getting what you want by giving the other person what they want. If you are an effective communicator, what you probably want is tangible. Perhaps you want a raise, perhaps you want to make a recommendation to your boss about some workplace procedure, or maybe you just want to make a new friendship.
Most people, by contrast, tend to want more intangible things. While consciously they may want to chastise you, discuss a certain case with you, or even commend you, unconsciously they are probably more concerned with getting your acceptance, acknowledgment, or approval. If you can give them your approval while making it look like you are giving them what they consciously want, you can more effectively get what you want.
Of course, with all the discussion of techniques for effective communication in the workplace, few people put enough thought into how it plays into your personal life. For me, however, this is where it starts. Communicating effectively at work is easier than maintaining your relationships. Your workplace may take 30 years of your life or so, but your relationships are the whole purpose of living. Developing effective relationships communication is the key to everything. If you can open your heart to the people you love best, they will open their hearts to you. Everyone gains from this approach.
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